I am fully aware that the poem makes little sense and lacks capitalization and punctuation, so you needn't inform me of the fact. I intended it to be exactly as it is.
flitting round the grey perimeters
of shining white, or so it seems
in the outside world of nothing
and here a door appears, and there
but shifting, now too small or large
silence drowns out everything
cold, but so convinced of truth
to cut the corners, stay inside
the box of blue and green, until
the ceiling itself, replacing the sky
caves in at last, and begins again
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Hey, I really love the whole symmetry and feel of this poem, the way it has pace, not too fast, I disagree I do not feel exhausted, I just feel that the whole poem makes you feel something, and that the ending is a very good ending that feels right.
I agree with you, the grammar and punctuation etc. has no place in this poem it is all about the feel of it.
Keep it up! Awesome work!
Exhausted. That's how I felt reading this. Punctuation exists in poetry to guide the reader when to pause. Right now, you have a breathless rush of a poem that I can barely understand. There are no signs to show me how to read it. Perhaps this is what you wanted -- but I don't see the added meaning that the fast pace gives you. If you have a ridiculous speed like this, it needs to be longer, and the language needs to be less vague, less metaphorical, and tie the poem to the world with some concrete metaphors. Right now it's in the clouds.
Hm... I'm not exactly to sure what to say about this poem. You covered the caps and other stuff haha, but that didn't even bother me to much. Now I'm not sure if you did this on purpose, but it seems like it, I really like how the poem is the shape of a square, and this is called cube. Very clever
... So I guess I know what to say, I liked it lol